I am me, I am who God called me to be
Good afternoon readers, for a very long time, my heart has had a desire to see more support for pastors' wives, whether that be in the form of retreats or books from fellow pastors' wives who are in the trenches with us.
Here is a short backstory of what led me to this point in my life. As I go on in this blog, I'll share our story in more depth over the next few entries. I want to be transparent with you, so I'm not just someone out there behind a computer screen, but you can find something in my journey that you too may relate to. So Grab a cup of coffee and sit down and let me share my heart with you.
My husband and I have been married for 22 years; we have one daughter in heaven; she would off been 22 yrs old if she was still with us. I have served in different ministries at different churches over the years, and this church where my husband presently serves as a senior pastor is my first go-around as pastor's wife. I'm so grateful I have Godly mentors in my life who speak the truth to my heart and carry me through those tough days with their prayers. Most of what I'm finding out is there is no rule book or how to become a pastor's wife, and many who are in my shoes are learning too what this role truly means.
I'm slowly learning that I can't lose myself while trying to walk this road of being who God called me to be; the wife of a pastor is not for the faint of heart. The more I experience, the more I clearly see that God never intended us to walk this road alone. I've heard many stories of women whose husbands God calls to ministry, and the women lose themselves in the process as time goes in and what happens is bitterness sets in and resentment sets in. It creeps in their marriage, and it can wreak havoc on you if you don't find your identity in Christ alone. Christ alone.
As I start out on this new chapter of this blog, what I write to you is what's on my heart and what I'm learning as I go and my struggles, and Because, let me tell you, there will be plenty of both! We have chosen to love the man that God has called to be in ministry. We are married to a pastor, but we are still His wife, and his first ministry is to you first before the Flock that he is the under-shepherd to. Find what you do and do it well, be gentle with yourself, and remember that just because you are the pastor's wife doesn't mean that you're not still YOU! Be the best version of yourself; that's what God desires of you! not to feel the need to lead all the ministries or sing or play the piano! We can lose ourselves while we are learning who we are in Him.
Don't let expectations of anyone dictate what God wants you to do in your life. This is a tough road, and the only way you will be able to walk it is by drenching yourself in the scriptures and spending countless hours on your knees in prayer for your husband, the church, and you. He is all the matters and all that we need to walk this road, but you are not alone, and we will talk more about why it's important to have others who are in the trenches with us encouraging us in the next week's entry! But sister, let Jesus carry you.