Everything Beautiful In Your Time
Dear Readers, on this rainy morning, though, it's a beautiful day because the Lord has made it.
I hope this finds you all doing well. Give yourself a reminder today that you are loved beyond words by your creator, and You are safe in His embrace. So this is going to be a very transparent entry in my blog, to bare my heart to you. My prayer is that when you read these words, you don't feel so alone. We all know how difficult being in ministry can be and how much being a pastor's wife can wear on our hearts if we don't pour into God's word for our strength, wisdom, and direction.
What happens, though, when you're a pastor's wife and struggle with depression or mental health issues? Do you feel ashamed? Do you hide behind your painted smiles on Sunday morning, portraying that you are fine and just feeling a bit off? It's through our brokenness that We become whole in Christ! As I get older and the more life we experience, we can empathize with others more on a much deeper level of connection.
Depression reared its ugly head when I was only 13 yrs old. Only to travel a road I wasn't prepared for. I didn't know where that road would lead. I retreated into the darkness into the abyss of deep dark depression and isolation. It only got worse as the years went on. I was in and out of the hospital and on medications, and I even tried to take my life at that time many times. In my later teens, I was diagnosed with bipolar which. We were happy that we finally had answers! My husband was right beside me each step of this journey.
I don't want to focus on the past, but to give you some insight into where I was coming from. After many years of therapy and meds and God sustaining me and the support of my loving husband and family and friends, I became stable, I was able to get off all my meds by God's Grace and my doctor's approval, I had learned how to cope how to deal with my feelings!
Though fast forward years later, I often wondered I still have bad days occasionally, I know how to cope with them, but I felt unworthy of the calling I knew that my husband was meant to do, and that was a pastor and pastor's wife. Here is the thing though we all have our past, we all have a story to tell; we all have scars, some more visible than others. Are we going to let our scars stand in the way of what God is calling us to do?
You are right where you were meant to be! The ministry you are in, the church you are serving alongside your husband. Mental health has way too much stigma attached to it, and here are the things it's like any other health issue we need to take care of in our minds. Here is my encouragement to you if you are a pastor's wife and are dealing with depression or any mental health issue. Remember, there is no shame in getting help! There is no shame in saying you need some extra help that doesn't in any way, shape, or form make you any less of a pastor's wife
you are beautiful inside and out! You have a diving purpose that God has destined for you, and you are doing it. Ministry Is messy. Ministry is tough there is no denying that! I won't sit here and pretend it's not! We can do what we need to do because of the power of the Holy Spirit within us. Rest in Him, and make sure you are taking care of yourself! We know that many come to us for advice, prayers, and support, and if we are not pouring Jesus into our spiritual cups, we will burn out very quickly, and that's when depression too can set in!
I wanted to share with you the lyrics to the poem that later became a song by Joni Eareckson tada she is a woman who was injured when she was a teenager in a diving accident and ended up paralyzed from the shoulders down! God brought beauty from the ashes of her life, and she became a well-known speaker, singer, and author. This poem she wrote in her 20s later became one of the songs she sang on one of her records! So here are the lyrics/words to it!
But fragile things dl slip and fall as everybody knows, and when my vase came crashing down, those tears began to flow! But don't we all cry when pretty things get broken, don't we all sigh at such awful loss, but Jesus will dry those tears as he has spoken because He was the one broken on the cross! my life was just like china, a lovely thing to me, full of porcelain promises of all that I might be
I have a piece of china, a lovey porcelain vase. It holds such lovely flowers that capture everyone's gaze, but fragile things do slip and fall as everybody knows, and when my life came crashing down, those tears began to flow! Now Jesus is no porcelain prince; his promises don't break his Holy word holds fast and sure is love no one can shake! So if your life is shattered by sorrow, pain, or sin, His healing love will reach right down and make you whole again But don't we all cry at such an awful loss, Jesus will try those tears as have spoken cause he was the one broken on the cross!!
In my own life, God is bringing people across my path who struggle with depression in my ministry that I serve as a pastor's wife. I'll always advocate for mental health and speak openly about it with our church, so they know even believers struggle with this, and even a pastor or pastor's wife can walk that road! So remember that no matter what you are dealing with right now, today, Jesus will make something beautiful in His time, and HE will use you for His glory even through the tears and the struggles, sister in Christ, you are not alone!
Ask God how he can use your brokenness for his glory and further His kingdom!